THIS

Day One: A song
Day Two: A picture
Day Three: A book/ebook
Day Four: A site
Day Five: A YouTube clip
Day Six: A quote
Day Seven: Whatever tickles your fancy

( you get more pictures from italy )


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Yom Kippur starts tonight and I've made the decision not to fast, for the first time in about 15 years. It's just practical - I'm working from 4:30am until 1pm, and then moving a lot of heavy furniture to my new apartment. I know this, and I know that you're not actually supposed to fast if it will negatively impact your health and stuff, but I hate the fact that I'm not fasting. Even though I'm not religious, fasting on Yom Kippur is the one thing I do religiously. Or maybe I should say compulsively. Because for some reason I just believe with all my soul that bad things will happen to me if I don't fast. I realize this is kind of silly, but I can't stop.

So I think I'm going to take another day and fast. A day when I have OFF. Which at this rate may be over a month from now, but you know, whatever. Eventually I'll have a fast.

In other news, a good half of my stuff is now at the new apartment. Including my desk, so I'm sitting on the floor writing this. I'm hoping to be completely moved in my tomorrow night. We'll see. I've been so stressed and sleep deprived for the 4 days, and today Amanda reminded me that in another 4 days it will be ALL OVER, and that was good to be reminded of. I also declared that I refused to move again until it was time to move back east. Seriously, I am sick of this shit, and next year I am going home for Rosh Hashanah no matter what, and taking Yom Kippur off. The end.

But my new room is very pleasing shade of "bleached denim" and I am very proud of it.

Day One: A song
Day Two: A picture
Day Three: A book/ebook
Day Four: A site
Day Five: A YouTube clip
Day Six: A quote
Day Seven: Whatever tickles your fancy


"Also remember, love inhabits more than just the heart and mind. If need be it can take shelter in a big toe."

--The Three Attic Whalestoe Institute Letters
(House of Leaves by Mark Z. Danielewski)


--


Last night I saw a screening of Bright Star, which is a movie about John Keats and Fanny Brawne, and it was excellent, despite being very sad. It was one of those movies where you KNOW what's going to happen but you find yourself hoping that somehow it will all work out alright. Also, they managed to make it romantic without being gross and mushy. The acting was fantastic, and they did some great things with sound. Oh and also there was lots of Keats poetry and quotes from his letters and stuff, so. Great movie.

Today I had a day off, which was great because I don't get another one for two weeks, if that. Basically, the costume store managed to schedule me on the 2 days I'd taken off of Sbux to move, because I had no way to request days off. And still don't, because they haven't chosen a manager for the store I'm working at yet, and you need the manager name to request a day off. Basically, they are not organized at all, and it's a good thing that we're allowed to start moving in early.

I think I'm gonna paint my room blue. And I've been obsessively looking at wall decals on etsy. And the only things I've manged to pack so far are my cds and most of my books. This should be a fun move.

Okay. Gonna get ready for work so I can get up tomorrow and go to work, and call my landlord, and maybe buy paint, and go to a store meeting and pack some more. Booya.

I missed yesterday because I was being extremely busy and important. So you're getting two today

Day One: A song
Day Two: A picture
Day Three: A book/ebook
Day Four: A site
Day Five: A YouTube clip
Day Six: A quote
Day Seven: Whatever tickles your fancy

A Site:

Fuck You, Penguin
A blog that tells horrifically cute animals what's what. Guaranteed to make me laugh, even in the worst moods.

( a youtube clip )

--

Dead. I am dead. I have to be up at 4am tomorrow. Again.

Uggggh.

Day One: A song
Day Two: A picture
Day Three: A book/ebook
Day Four: A site
Day Five: A YouTube clip
Day Six: A quote
Day Seven: Whatever tickles your fancy

The Way the Crow Flies by Ann-Marie MacDonald

I just finished this last week and it was excellent. I'd actually put off reading it for years because MacDonald's first novel, Fall On Your Knees, while excellent, was really fucking depressing. This one is in no way light reading, but it's not quite as soul crushingly sad. The story mostly takes place in 1962-63 from the point of view of Madeleine, an 8 year old girl, and Jack, her father and an officer in the in the RCAF. It's about their family, and their base, and also the cold war, and the space race. When a girl is murdered, all of these storylines come together. Like I said, really really excellent.

And for something a little less heavy...

The Wolf House by Mary Borsellino

Vampires are getting way overdone, especially in YA lit (thanks, twilight), but this is the book that will make you love vampire stories again. The characters are a bunch of kick ass girls and boys, both gay and straight, the music is punk, and the vampires bite people, but also have kittens. It's fantastic. Also, it's an ebook, so you can click on the link above and it can be yours without leaving your house!

--

I've had The Sinus Headache of Doom for going on 36 hours now. I took sudafed, which is doing less than one would hope at dulling the IMMENSE PAIN. I've also taken a hot shower, and lay on the floor with a warm washcloth on my face. I am ready to do violence if it means the pain will stop.

Day One: A song
Day Two: A picture
Day Three: A book/ebook
Day Four: A site
Day Five: A YouTube clip
Day Six: A quote
Day Seven: Whatever tickles your fancy

( cut to save your layouts )

--

If I actually am going to do NaNoWriMo in November, I have to crack down and spend October preparing. At first this will mostly consist of thinking about the story a lot while I'm in the shower, and taking some long drives, also so I can just stew about it.

I don't really use outlines, especially chapter by chapter outlines, because I am laughing out loud if you think I know that much about a story going into it, but I do like to have a general outlines of major plot points and where I'd like it to go. Mostly these look like this: "...Then stuff happens that show Character A and Character B being fucked up, and ends with a fist fight on the dock. Then the ghost shows up because [research]. Then there's plot, and they make up, and then they have sex."

Although probably no one's actually gonna have sex in my story. Because I'm mean.

Also! My story is populated by many bands, and coming up with band names is already taxing. I have the main few, but give me your good band names!

Also, I think I'm getting sick, and with my work schedule for the next week and half (at least) plus moving, I really can't be. Lots of tea and vitamin c drops, it is.

Sharing is Caring: For one week, recommend/share...
Day One: A song
Day Two: A picture
Day Three: A book/ebook/fanfic
Day Four: A site
Day Five: A YouTube clip
Day Six: A quote
Day Seven: Whatever tickles your fancy

AM Taxi - Fed Up

AM Taxi is one of my absolute favorite Chicago bands. They're gonna be in Boston, NYC, and Philly on their current tour with Billy Talent, so check 'em out.

--

Some pictures from Italy have been posted on my facebook, with more being posted to Flickr soon. I'm moving in a week and a half, and I probably got myself a seasonal job at a costume store.

Also, I might try and do NaNoWriMo this year because I never learn.

I wanna go on a roadtrip.

So in the last month I have gone home to PA, taken a random trip to Indianapolis, gone to six shows, and found a new apartment, and my wanderlust is still not assuaged. Good thing I'm leaving for Italy tomorrow, I guess!

I'm mostly packed, and pretty much the only thing I have left to do is getting some camera accessories, except that I don't want to spend the money on them so I have more money in Italy. My life, so hard. I have also gambled with only bringing 2 books, because they are both really long. That'll be okay, right? Right? Maybe I should pack another one ...

I had a really weird day yesterday where it started out great - It was gorgeous out, Beckah and I went to Wicker Park for coffee and pastries and some window shopping, etc. And then I saw something that made me mad and just ... crashed. Had a mild anxiety attack, had to go smoke a cigarette so I could at least kind of calm down, then I washed a lot of dishes and reorganized my suitcase, read a comfort book, and I was still upset by the time I went to bed. I'm trying to not let anything get to me today, because I don't want to waste my vacation with that.

But it's also like, I always forget that emotional disorders don't go away just because I'm going through a good period, and then I'm surprised by them. I am kind of dumb, sometimes. About a lot of things.

Eh, I'm gonna go run around now.

Ciao!

Things I've been doing: working, working, working, going to the beach, working, watching British Scifi Tv shows, and working.

I know, such an interesting life I lead.

Actually I did have some fun this week. On Tuesday I went down to Indianapolis and went to Warped Tour. I've somehow managed to never go to Warped Tour before, so it was interesting. I managed to not see a lot of bands, but I had fun anyway! (Except for like 1.5 hours in the afternoon where a stupid band gave me a feminist rage plus I was tired and it was hot. But I sat under a tent for a while and after that, it was totally cool.) I drove back to Chicago when it was over, and compared to driving back from St. Louis last month, it wasn't that bad. :)

Yesterday it was rainy and gross so I slept in, read books, and watched TV, which was awesome.

Today was back to work which sucked, we were busy and I am super sick of that place. And it's like, I can get up at 6am drive 3 hours to Indianapolis, spend 9 hours outside, then drive 3 hours back, and be tired, sure, but not crushingly exhausted. And 7 hours at Starbucks makes me not want to move for the rest of the night. Bleh.

Although APPARENTLY, someone tried to commit suicide in our cafe on Monday night? Like, they ODed on Tylenol PM and ambulances had to be called, etc. Fucking crazy.

ALSO, Beckah was jumped on Tuesday night? By some rough looking teenagers who punched one of her companions in the face repeatedly. But then Beckah made them run away by scolding them and calling them "Young Man". My roommate is GREAT you guys.

I am going to a work outing tonight, and it starts in 45 minutes and I haven't even showered yet. Oh well.

Oh and also, I get to see THE GET UP KIDS in October. FUCK YES.

Stef: Rei, srsly...
Please beat me upside the head
A lot
me: *beat*
*beat*beat*beat*beat*
Stef: thank you sir, may I please have another?
me: *beat*








In other news, change of plans, and my east coast trip will now be August 6-10, or thereabouts.

Had excellent weekend last week, and have been horribly bored since.

I went and saw my mom in Ann Arbor, had several excellent meals, one successful shopping trip, one awesome hair cut, and many good nights of sleep. Monday night, I drove the hour down to Toledo to see The Scenic, which was excellent. Went back to Ann Arbor with one drummer in tow, and the next day we drove to St. Louis by way of Indianapolis. The morning was gloomy but the afternoon was sunny and warm and excellent driving weather, especially with good music to sing along to blasting from the speakers.

I got really stupidly excited to see the big arch as we drove into St. Louis. Whatever, I'd never been to St. Louis before! It rained pretty much the entire time we were in St. Louis, and there were approximately 2 people at the show besides the bands and me. But um, there was a really good restaurant across from the venue? And I actually spent a good portion of the night watching hockey. The one flaw in this adventure is that I did not have anywhere to stay in St. Louis, so I ended up driving the 4.5 hours back to Chicago that night. I had a lot of red bull.

Most of the days in Chicago since have been rainy and gross, leaving me bored and restless and irritated. (Apparently it is the wettest June in Chicago in like 50 years or something. Yuck.) I had a good time the 2 days it was nice though! Took a lot of long walks and got sunburned, but enjoyed it.

Also, Beckah and I decided that we were going to have our own book club this summer where we reread the first 3 books of the Vampire Chronicles. (I refuse to read past Queen of the Damned ever again.) To aid that, I found the first three books in one volume at Myopic, and I am probably more excited than any normal person.

Hmmm, what else? I'm working a lot the next 2 weeks. Hopefully this is a trend that will continue. Because despite my acute wanderlust, my plan for the summer is to stay in Chicago and work as much as possible (except for visiting xnotalovesong) until I go to Italy.

WAIT, DID I MENTION ITALY? My mom wants to go for her 60th birthday, and she wants me to go with her for part of it and I AM SO EXCITED! I've never been to Italy and I really really wanna go, OMG.

So yeah. Anyway. It'll make for a kind of boring summer, but hopefully it'll stop raining at some point and I can spend my afternoons at the beach? Plus, I refuse to believe that I'll be bored in Chicago during the summer. Hopefully everything going on here will curb my restlessness.

Um, the end, I think.

I am trying to be a human being again. I went from possibly having cancer to nicotine withdrawl to respiratory infection without any breaks in between, and now that I'm mostly healthy for the first time in 3 weeks I don't have any excuses for being an anti-social bitch.

However, this is somewhat delayed due to being completely broke and my schedule this week. So I'm staying home watching TV, reading, and knitting all this week so I don't spend any money, and also because I am opening every day this week except today and getting up every day at 4am makes me tired. :\

But hey, it's okay, because I am going to have an awesome 4 day weekend starting on Saturday. I'm going to see my mom in Ann Arbor, and then on Monday I'm gonna go see The Scenic in Toledo, and I may or may not also go to see them in St. Louis the next day. I haven't really left Chicago since I got back from PA in April, and as much as I love Chicago, I am so excited to be *somewhere else* for a couple days.

Speaking of somewhere else, the next time I will be on the east coast will be the end of July/the first weekend of Musikfest. I'll be flying into DC to see The Cab and hang with xnotalovesong and then going up to Philly/Bethlehem. The first night of Musikfest I'll be seeing Panic and Owl City, and the next day I'll probably be spending with my aunts and sister in New York. I am trying to convince myself that I need to be back in Chicago before Tuesday and therefore cannot go see Third Eye Blind.

Oh ALSO, the only thing I'm spending money on this week is a ticket to see Blink 182, Fall Out Boy, and Panic at the Disco at the SAME SHOW. Be still my heart!

Anything else we haven't covered? No? Okay.

It's nice when your friends support you in both your old and new interests.

For instance, Dan's idea of updating me on the Blackhawks game on Sunday:

Danno: Franzen and Havlat start fighting, then make out.
Danno: I'll let you know when Toews gets involved. Rowr.

Here's a fun little story. I'd been getting sick all last week: sore throat, general ickiness, etc. I stayed home all my days off and rested, trying NOT to get sick, but it didn't work as well as one would hope, and by that I mean AT ALL. So Saturday I worked, and then I was supposed to go up to Milwaukee to see Fall Out Boy, and then I was supposed to open on Sunday.

But the by the middle of my shift on Saturday, I was like, UGH CANNOT FUNCTION. So I decided I would not go see Fall Out Boy. Take a moment to ponder that. *I* felt so sick that I skipped *Fall Out Boy.* Right. I doubted my ability to get my shift covered the next day, so I was like, I'll just go, and get through it, and then I can go home and sleep. This probably would have worked better had it not be and 8.5 hour shift. By the last hour my entire body ached so bad I was leaning against the pastry case being pathetic, plus I had started coughing, and my chest hurt. Great, right?

They sent me home half an hour early. I dragged my ass home, took a shower, ate some soup even though it hurt to swallow, and put myself to bed. Of course, by this time I have a fever, complete with chills and all. Woke up a couple hours later feeling not at all better and promptly started looking for urgent care centers that were open. What with it being 5pm on a Sunday, none were. (Which like, wtf is the point of an urgent care center if it is only open during normal business hours? idek.)

At this point I just started sobbing because I was feverish and in immense pain and alone and miserable. And I was supposed to open the next morning and I could get anyone to cover my shift.

This woke my roommate. I incoherently explained to her what was wrong, she called her grandfather, and I called my mother, and they both agreed that if nothing else was open I should get myself to an emergency room.

Meanwhile, I got on the phone to work, we fixed it so that I didn't have to be there the next day and now I think I owe everyone serious amounts of baked goods.

So we got a cab to the closest hospital and their ER was not at all busy so I got in pretty quickly and was promptly left alone in an examination room in a hospital gown, with nothing besides a chair, shivering and trying to huddle in my sweatshirt to be warm. Finally after an hour, the doctor came in, told me I didn't look that bad and that he couldn't detect anything wrong with me but he was going to give me antibiotics and get a strep culture done anyway. Least helpful doctor EVER.

It took another 20 minutes for the nurse to actually DO the strep culture and tell me I could go home. Went to Walgreens, got my prescription filled, went back home, and got halfway through a bowl of soup before I couldn't even sit up anymore and went back to bed.

Yeah, not a fun day at all.

I am feeling much better now - even left the house this morning! And the antibiotics are helping because now when I cough, I'm coughing up all the crap that has been in my lungs (so fuck you, stupid er doctor). I still get tired really easily though, as today I went out for coffee and put away laundry and then had to go lie down for a while. Still, I'm on track to be good on Friday when xnotalovesong gets here! Yay!

I quit smoking last week.

I did it because it was medically required of me, and I hate it. I also hate that people keep saying "Good for you!" and then I want to punch them in the face. I also hate that spring has always been my favorite time to go out for a cigarette (not just smoke, but go out for a cigarette) and now I can't.

So like ... this is my excuse for being a bitch, now that I know I don't have cancer. Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. I am really trying not to take this out on people. Really trying very hard.

I have also been eating a lot of lollipops and chewing a lot of gum.

And then for some reason I decided that I should cut espresso out of my diet. Note that I am still drinking coffee, but I was up to 7 or 8 shots a day when I opened the store, and it was starting to lose its effect. So I haven't had a cigarette in 7 days and I haven't had espresso in 4 days and my brain is very quietly falling apart.

Dammit, I LIKE my vices. That's why they were my vices.

Additionally, I had to explain to my parents today about how I spent 7 weeks not telling them that I maybe had cancer.

ugh.

Okay, so. Here's what was happening over the last 7 weeks that I didn't tell you.

At the end of February I went and had a physical for the first time in oh, at least 3 years. I had blood taken and a pap smear done. Mid March I found out that my pap smear came back abnormal. The doctor told me I had a mild case of dysplasia and a high-risk strain of HPV. Both of these are risk factors for cervical cancer, and she told me I should get a biopsy done ASAP.

I couldn't get an appointment for the biopsy until last Friday. So basically I spent 6 weeks thinking I might have cervical cancer.

I know, I didn't tell you. I didn't tell ANYONE. Not even my parents.

The results of the biopsy came back today, and I don't have cancer.

Repeat: I DO NOT HAVE CANCER.

Which is awesome. I just have to go back every 6 months for a pap smear to make sure everything is still okay. Not the most comfortable procedure to have to endure every 6 months, but more comfortable than say, having my uterus removed.

So I'm sorry if I was cranky or mean or impatient with you, or if I overreacted to something ridiculous. That's what was going on.

so you win again, march.

i'll get you next year.

This morning I dragged my ass out of bed at 4:15, dragged it to work, only to find out that I was not, in fact, scheduled to open. So I went back home, slept for an hour, and went BACK to work. For 4 hours.

That pretty much set the tone for the whole day.

I've been staying in because I am super super broke until tomorrow, when I will be able to pay rent, and then I'll be super broke again. I AM SO BORED OH MY GOD. Today I did my taxes, because I couldn't think of anything else to do.

Actually, I should read more. But I'm to this point in my book where um, they're cutting up a body? Kind of graphically? And I can only read one or two paragraphs at a time.

I applied to the most random assortment of craigslist jobs the other day, from a mystery job that requires the skills of writing and observing people without them knowing, to ghostwriter, to bar website photographer. Of course have heard nothing. Also, I'm getting totally screwed on hours next week, so I am pretty much going to stay bored for the rest of my existence.

That is, until I go back to PA! Which will be April 13! (Well, technically, I'm leaving on April 12, but won't be in Bethlehem till April 13.) And I'm staying till April 23! Whoo!

Oh and hey, remember! This Saturday, if you want something to do, Croc Rock for The Scenic!